Read this article to learn how to save your marriage.

You have to start by deciding what the problems in your relationship are.  The most usual are financial, bringing up the children, lack of sex, lack of communication and loss of identity, but there are many others. 

You have to try to isolate the major problem or if there are several minor problems that cause all the trouble in your marriage. 

Once you are clear on the problem areas that need attention, you can start working together on them.

You are going to have to have a long discussion.  Where in the past you have never talked a lot to each other, it might be wise to have some counseling to teach you both how to be more open in the way that you communicate with each other; this is essential if you are to succeed. 

You need to set aside some quality time for just the two of you every day, to discuss the different marriage issues at stake.  Decide to do this after you have put the children to bed, or take a walk together after dinner.  You have to learn to love each other again so it is important to reserve this quality time for both of you every day. 

You also need to set aside for yourselves each week when you can go out together and enjoy yourselves by yourselves.  What you do is not very important, but you must get to the point where you both are looking forward to the few hours you will spend together just the two of you. 

When you get back to finding the pleasure of being together, you will start to improve the communication between the two of you.  You will improve the way you listen to each other. You are going to realize that the problems were caused by both of you and you are going to solve them by talking and listening to each other, if you are going to save your marriage. 

You have to be able to believe in your partner and this may mean giving the benefit of the doubt when you are sure that the marriage is truly viable.  Realize that your partner has not fundamentally changed since the day you first were married.  If you can’t have confidence in your partner and your marriage you are wasting your time trying to save your marriage. 

Finally, you have to learn to forgive where your partner has made mistakes, however large the mistake may have been.  Remember that if you consider that certain things cannot be forgiven, you will never be able to save your marriage.  We all make mistakes and a true apology followed by contrition and an effort to change merits forgiveness.

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This entry was posted on Friday, November 13th, 2009 at 11:12 am and is filed under Stop my Divorce. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.