Secret Relationships Why Keep The Secret
A secret relationship may sound very exciting to start with, but as time goes on the secret becomes more and more difficult to keep. You may have good reasons for wanting to keep the secret.
After a time, however, you will find the strain of keeping the secret is too much for each of you. Then you will have to let the world see that your relationship exists.
When you believe that friends and family will not agree with the person you have chosen, it would be wise to stop and consider why they do not accept your choice. It can sometimes happen that hey are wishing to force you in a particular direction, but more often they are just thinking of your well being. Are they worried that the person wants to hurt you or mistreat you, or have they other grounds for believing that the relationship might be bad for you? Where these reasons exist it is not surprising that those close to you are against the relationship.
Do they feel that the person will hurt you or doesn’t treat you right? Has hat person given them reason to think the relationship might not be a good one? If they disapprove on those grounds, you must not be surprised. In fact, keeping the relationship a secret might indicate mistakenly that you may not disagree completely with what they are thinking. In this case it would be easier for all concerned to have an open relationship and show them they are mistaken.
Where they disapprove of the relationship for their own personal reasons, there is no secret to keep! If they criticize your partner because of his class or financial situation there is no reason for hiding the relationship. Where th dispute is over your partner’s race, sex or religion it may be easier to guard the secret. Avoid a secret relationship if at all possible; be as open as you can and simplify matters for the two of you and those around you.
Show those about you that you are happy to feel as you do and be honest with your partner and yourself. Those about you may understand the real meaning of a relationship when they see you both so happy together.
Some of your friends and family may not feel the same as the others and be more supportive of your relationship. Others may not wish to speak up for you and show they think differently. They don’t want to be seen as in a minority and have to justify their views. Don’t forget that it is you who has chosen to keep your relationship secret a little for the same reason as you did not want to have to fend off the protests.
I advise you to read a book written by T ‘Dub’ Jackson. It is a no nonsense, simple, easy to read guide called “The Magic of Making Up”. He has been able to help many thousands of people all over the world, settle their different relationship problems with success.
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