Healing Yourself and Your Relationship – Self Help Tips
Relationships should exist to bring out the best in us but many times they lead us to wanting some self help advice. Most issues of self esteem issues are directly linked to our relationship. It doesn’t matter if you are dating or in a couple, our self esteem influences how we feel about ourselves. We try to find that person who adores us and make us feel invincible, and are not always successful.
It may be useful to find out if the problems the two of you are now having, had an origin dating back to before you started your relationship. Did one of the two of you have a relationship problem that arose in the earlier part of their life? The period whilst you are trying to find the cause of the problem can be a very testing time for you both as you try to identify the root cause of you problems. You have problems now and you must find the source to resolve them.
For the moment you should try to fix your own relationship now so that the two partners can help each other tackle their individual problems. You must work on building a strong relationship. Look for competent counselors who can give you proper relationship advice. There are also books about self help and different self help techniques you can use. When you have built a strong relationship, you will be able to start to help each other.
One important point to learn is never to criticize, or to allow yourself to be criticized by, your partner. Consider all criticism as destructive; it only makes one partner feel they are the underdog of the relationship and it can be used to manipulate in the same way that an abuser acts. The relationship is not about the survival of the fittest between the couple. You have to stop fighting each other and then there will be no more battles to win or lose between you.
When in your relationship you are separated by different beliefs, talk about the differences without saying one person is right or wrong, and try to find a common ground. Spend time to discuss your different roles in the relationship and what each of you expects from the other.
Talk to each other about the things that hurt you, what you want and need from them. That you are just dating, or in a marriage, you can both do lots of things to improve your situation. So, work on repairing the relationship and putting away all discussion about divorce or breaking up and thereby make each other better people. Your relationship will help you improve your individual images and overcome the problems that may be dragging you back.
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