Don’t start to panic as there are many reasons why your lover has become rather distant. They may have problems at work, financial or health problems or they may be trying to help a friend through a difficult period.  So don’t just assume that they don’t love you any more. 

T ‘Dub’ Jackson in his book, The Magic Of Making Up, writes a lot about the need for real communication in the couple. This is something that ca be improved in all relationships; in fact more relationships fall apart because of lack of communication than fidelity in the couple.  The partners just seem to be incapable of speaking to each other. 

When you don’t talk openly about what concerns or worries you in your relationship, you will find that doubts arise which start as being insignificant and soon take a considerable proportion.   The more they increase in size the more difficult it becomes to find solutions to these problems. 

So when you realize that there is a problem in your relationship, the sooner you find a solution to it, the easier it is to solve. Take your partner out for a drink or a meal and get a baby sitter for the children. You will find it easier to talk to each other when you are on neutral territory and you will likely have a proper discussion without it developing into an argument. 

You should avoid at all cost attacking or accusing your partner.  What you want is a good discussion and for this you both have to talk about how you are feeling without trying to blame one another for what has happened.  You have to listen to your partner as they must listen to you.  Even if your relationship needs to be rescued, you will both be grateful that things have been brought out in the open.

It is always best to avoid keeping secrets in your relationship.  When you have been in a long relationship you will know from experience that keeping the relationship alive requires a lot of hard worm and trust between the two partners.  Improving the way you communicate with each other will help you both to acquire this trust and the mutual respect that is necessary for your relationship to survive and flourish.

You have to stop guessing what each of you wants to say to each other and listen to each other.  You two are the only people who can solve the problems that exist and finding lasting solutions and it will certainly not help if you try to ignore the problems.  Read the book, the magic of making up, and talk with your partner. If you want to prevent the need for a relationship rescue service you must both take immediate action.

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There is a are quantity of relationship philosophy and psychology books out on the market but when you start studying them you will find that the message most of them send is one of total contradiction.  Fairly recently the well known relationship expert Dr Phil stated that most therapist and counselors don’t know how to fix a partnership. They will give you the theory and the reasons behind some of behavioral traits, but it is a question of chance this information can help you solve your problems.  Many such relationships councilors have been through a personal history of broken relationships but they never tell their customers this. 

Every relationship is different despite the fact that most of the problem areas may be similar.  You cannot change the fact that the problems you are trying to get a hold of are nothing more nor less than the result of what you both are.

I am not saying that you don’t need any help although I do question you need a course on relationship psychology.  You will find far more useful help from a self help book that teaches you how to communicate with your partner as well as understand what they are saying to you.  This is something that you can both read and profit from together.

I recommend the Magic of Making Up because it is written by somone who is not like other authors on relationship psychology.  Mr Jackson is very happily married and he works to help his customers become so also and stay so.  Read the comments his customers have made and see how this book has greatly influenced their lives.  Maybe your relationship has come to an end as not every relationship can be saved, but don’t move on things before you have read his book.  After this you will be able to work out the right decision for yourselves and your family.

It is never easy to admit that parts of your relationship need to be improved.  When you try to forget about them they may disappear in the short term but sooner or later they will return and when this happens the problems are likely to have become more complicated than they were before.  Problems don’t go away; they have to be dealt with.

When you have both made a heavy investment in your relationship it is worth doing a little extra work to avoid a break up.  For this reason, stop studying g the theory of relationship psychology and put the effort into getting each of you happy again.

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Do you want to have children.   If you are looking to start a family and your boyfriend doesn’t want children, you have a potential problem.  It may not be an issue that merits you breaking the relationship immediately but you can’t overlook it as your relationship develops.

Do you want a long term relationship?  If you do you must tell you boyfriend what you want and what you need.  If you want the relationship to be long term you must you must tell you boyfriend.  Then he will be able to say if he sees the situation similarly.

How do you feel about monogamy?  You have to take a common position from the start.  Be very clear about how you feel and be sure you understand his point of view. 

How high up do you come on your boyfriend’s list of priorities?   You have to talk to him about it.   You don’t necessarily have to be at the top but you must not be at the bottom.  You need to know ho committed he feels towards you.

Does he love you?     You may think this is pointless but it is very important.  You need to be certain of their feelings and be reassured that they love and care about you

Is he willing to work with you on the relationship?   It is difficult to maintain a relationship. You will both have to work hard on it and show proof of patience.  So talk to him about your relationship in order to understand that he is willing to make the effort required if you are to have a good and healthy relationship.

Don’t start to ask all the questions at once.  Take it slowly.   You don’t wan t to turn him off.  Be careful to let him see that you understand his point of view and that you do not give the impression of accusing him as all you risk doing is bringing the relationship to a rapid close.

Asking these questions will help you to understand your boyfriend. It is better to ask the questions at the start rather than be surprised by something later on in your relationship.

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When I think of all the things I’ve learned from women who’ve dumped me, I realize how they have actually helped me save my current relationship.  You see, all relationships are similar in that the same in that they will fail if certain components do not exist.  Your wealth and your good looks will not save you if they are missing; your relationship is doomed to failure. 

All my previous girlfriends taught me some valuable lessons.  They taught me to tell the truth even when it was difficult for me to do so.  She will trust you when she knows you are always honest and being trusted is one of the foundations of a good relationship. 

I learned that they expect me to tell them how I feel.  That does not mean that I, like most men, am happy to talk all the time about how I am feeling.  It does mean that I have to explain my feelings and not just expect her to guess what they are.  I must also ask her about what she is feeling and listen to her replies. I am not there to solve the problems in her life as she is perfectly capable of doing this herself and my intervention would likely only annoy her.  I must listen to what she says and only make a suggestion if she asks me to. 

I have also realized that when I help with the menial household tasks, I am in a better position to ask for the sexual favors later.  Small things done regularly are far more appreciated than a bigger effort that I make less frequently to help her.  The things I do for her are much more appreciated when I do them than when I say them. 

When she cuddles up close to me in bed, it does not necessarily mean that she is wanting to have sex so I must respect this and not be upset by it.  I have to tell her that I find she is the sexiest thing that existed and not just think it; particularly when I am hoping for a little more than just a cuddle. 

When I look back I realize that all my previous relationships had broken up because I did not follow these cardinal rules.  I always thought that all I did was just perfect but I always got dumped because I had ignored my girlfriend or failed to understand them.   I would probably continued to be unsuccessful in my relationships if I had not bought some books that helped me understand what were the main components of a great relationship.   .

Not only am I happier now, but so is my wife.   The things I’ve learned from women who’ve dumped have helped me to make the best of my relationship and they can help you as well.

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Start by telling other people how you are feeling after what has happened.  Letting someone else know how angry and frustrated it has left you feeling is essential.  Don’t be afraid of letting others know what has happened.   It will give you some peace and help you to feel better and understand better what has happened to you.

The people around you will likely try to tell you to cool down when they hear that you have discovered that your best friend is dating your ex.  That you are annoyed and upset by this is normal, as you still have that feeling that you feel your ex is still for you with your souvenirs.  You don’t want someone you know well coming along and destroying all of this

So it is normal to be upset and annoyed when your best friend is in a rebound relationship with your ex.   What is important is that you find a way to let go of all the bad things you are feeling in one simple sweep so that you can put it behind you and start to assess your future rationally. 

You are then going to have to reflect on your friendship with the person who has taken your ex.  Think over the problem from different angles and don’t give them up just like that.  It is perhaps a little stupid to give up a good friendship when you are no longer going out with your ex.

Did you tell your friend that you considered that your ex was forbidden territory for him? How would you feel if you had done the same thing to your best friend?   Try to put yourself in their place and think about how they are feeling prior to deciding if you should maintain your friendship. 

When it first happens you find yourself in a very difficult situation when your best friend is in a rebound relationship with your ex.  You may still have a broken heart after the original break up and so whet your friend has done to you may only make this worse.  So you are right to be angry and want to vent this anger, as it will help you when you come to deciding if, in the end, you wish to keep the friendship with your best friend.

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So often we see, as our relationship develops with a man, we get to a level of comfort where we stop looking after ourselves as much as we did when we first began going out together.  And start to become comfortable.  Yet this is the first thing to avoid when we wan to be an amazing girlfriend. Never let him see you otherwise than when you are at your best

Then you have to lead a very active and interesting sex life in order to be that amazing girlfriend.  Men like to enjoy themselves in bed and they prefer it when they turn their partner on.  Do some reading up and find out what you can do that will really turn him on.   This does not mean that you should do things with which you are not comfortable but bring some variety into your sex life if you want him to see you as an amazing girlfriend. 

Let him go out from time to time without calling him to find out where he is and who he is with.  Men hate insecure women who want to follow their every move. . They accept you being a little jealous when a pretty lady makes eyes at them, but they expect you will trust them when they having a night out away from you.

If you want him to stay with you, treat his family and friends with respect. Thy may not always be the people you want to go out with regularly.  Remember that he will probably feel the same way about your friends and family.  His family should be important to him, so watch how he treats his own mother as you will probably get an idea of how he will treat you in later years. 

Although it may be easy to answer the question how to be an amazing girlfriend, this does not mean that is easy when you come to put it into practice. When you are able to handle some of these techniques you will be better able to move on the next step in your relationship.  Don’t forget that, if you find it all too much work to do this, he likely has many other female friends who would love to have the opportunity to prove that they have the qualities it takes to be an amazing girlfriend.

If you love your man and want to be with him in later years you have to get things right now.  You have nothing to lose, so set about making yourself that amazing girlfriend now.

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Take care not to show that you are desperate, especially after adultery.  Yes you want her back, but not on any terms.  You don’t want to add to the many reasons, probably justified, that she presently has for refusing to have you back immediately.  But you must find ways of showing how sorry and repentant you really are.

One technique that often works is to write her a letter.  Start by telling you think she is right to take some time and space apart.  Tell her that that you should both be thinking of going your different ways and that you have realized for some time that the relationship was drawing to a close. Then you apologize to her again for having cheated and say how sorry you are it happened.  Admit that you have had a great lack of respect towards her and tell her again how sorry you are that you let it happen.  Terminate by telling her that something stupendous has happened to you and you like to talk about it with her when she wants to. Finish on this note.

What you have to do is get your girlfriend wanting and loving you, and writing such a letter is a very good way of doing  just this.  You show her in an adult way that not only do you realize what you have done but you appreciate that it has caused her considerable pain.  You let her see that you are not desperate but that you are ready to start all over again.  When your ex reads this letter, it is likely that she will soon be in contact with you.  From now on you will no longer be in the situation of begging her forgiveness. 

You are now, hopefully, at the start of re conquering your ex girlfriend’s love, so you are going to need to be prepared when she contacts you after reading your letter.  So during this time you have to get yourself mentally ready for her.  Look after yourself and work on your appearance, enjoy yourself with your friends and generally concentrate on being positive and looking to a bright future so that you are ready for her when she calls you.  Don’t get upset while you wait wondering when or if she will call you. 

When she finally call, take things slowly.  I hope this advice has led you through the first steps of what to do when you want to know “How can I get my girlfriend to love me again” even if I’ve cheated on her.

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Start out by trying to look at your relationship with a positive angle.  When you are feeling miserable, remember that your misery is communicative.  It won’t be much fun for your wife to have you around when you are like this.  So change the way you are viewing your relationship and start to think of the good times you have had together and how she was so in love with you at the start of the relationship.  Think about what you did do that captivated her then and what you now have to do to repeat this.  Now you know her so much better than when your relationship was in its opening phases, so it should be much easier to repeat this.

Once you able to view life more positively, you will be better able to reflect on the true reasons why she has drifted away from you or even left you.  Have you just fallen into a comfortable way of life and started to take all she did for you for granted?  Did you forget to thank her or show that you appreciated her attentions?  Did you take her for granted and never offer thanks and appreciation for everything she did and tell her how much you still loved her? Did you forget that all women need to feel loved and taken care of?     So get back to the basics and start to tell her that you love her and let her see that you really mean it.  Your wife needs to hear this and feel your sincerity.

Perhaps you have been treating her badly or shown her some lack of respect.  There is a long list of things you could have done that come into this group; being unfaithful to her is perhaps the most important, shouting at her is another, there are many others.  Where as men often ignore these matters, women consider them to be very important.  Women can get very upset about thoughtless remarks their men make unintentionally.  Where you have behaved like this you are going to have to change the way you have been behaving.  So you had better ask yourself very seriously whether you are prepared to make these changes.  If you want to get to get her back loving you again, you are going to have to change your ways. Ask yourself if you are prepared to do this and be honest with yourself about the answer. 

You may be worried about the idea that you may lose your partner particularly if you have been some time together.  The above thoughts may assist you in your objective of getting your wife to love you again and drawing the family closer together again.   When you are asking “can my wife love me again”, always remember that, it’s never too late to turn the page and start all over again with good intentions, as long as you have decided to keep to them.

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You often hear people say that rebound relationships never work, but you can’t deny that lots of couples exist who met shortly after a break up and they have been successful in building up a happy relationship.   If you are starting or in a rebound relationship, read this article as it will help you to improve your chances of success.  

A rebound relationship is one where the person who has just been through a break up, starts a relationship with a new partner almost immediately.  Life is all about chances and occasions and so if by chance you meet the person who you think is for you, even if it is just after a difficult relationship split, you would be stupid to pass the over the occasion.   They can always leave you, but that can always happen so there is little point in thinking about it.   More than this you may be just the person that your new partner has been looking for so long.  

The most common reason that relationships break down is that the partners have grown apart.  This happens much more often than problems associated with adultery.   Never forget that if your present partner split up from their ex, they must have had some reason to do so.  If they had been together a long time before separating, they probably broke up because they had grown apart.   It may also have been that they realized that they did not have the same interests in life, once the initial thrill of the new relationship had blown over, and so could not maintain a relationship over time.  

You need to be careful and take things very slowly if your new partner has also recently come out of another relationship.  It is always useful to know why they split up, so try to find out without forcing the issue.  Always remember that men don’t like discussing their feelings so don’t push things too far and don’t assume that they don’t love you because they don’t talk a lot.  

You also want to avoid trying to compare yourself with the ex as it serves little purpose.  It is up to you two alone to make things work and so comparisons with her ex will not be very helpful.  Ignore comparisons made by other people who knew her ex; they are often pretty good at giving their worthless opinions even though they never knew what really happened in the first couple.     

When it is you who is on the rebound from the old relationship, you must be sure that you are doing the right thing by getting into the new relationship.  You have to decide if you want some quick amusement or you want things to develop on a long term basis.  In addition avoid just playing games with your new partner because you will both likely end up getting hurt.   

Who knows?  Perhaps your new partner is just who you were looking for and the relationship is set to be a success.   Make the most of it with your new partner, amuse yourselves and see where all this takes you.    

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When your relationship breaks up, you have the choice of trying to get your ex back, or moving on to fresh pastures.  You tend to opt for the first choice when you still have feelings for your ex.   Otherwise you have to try getting over your relationship.

When you decide to try and get your ex back, stop at nothing.   You are the sole judge of if they are the right partner for life for you.  Your family and friends will usually be all too happy to give their opinions, but it is only you who is able to decide what you really want to do.  Normally their advice will be well meaning but you have to take care to see that their advice is not being given in their own self interest.  

When most of your friends are unmarried, they will be happy to keep you single, as they may be jealous that you have found someone you love.  If they don’t like your choice, they will be sad to see you leave the group and so may try to persuade you against getting your ex back  

There are also times when it is just not possible to get your ex back, whatever you may try to do to recover them.   When this happens, there is little you can do other than accept the situation and move on.    On other occasions where you split up because of something that was rather trivial, you may be able to get your ex back by letting go of a little false pride and apologizing for what you did.  Women have always been taught that in such affairs an apology might imply she is desperate, so it is often up to the man to seize the occasion and put matters right.  

You will realize how important it is that you think very hard before taking the decision as it may affect both of your lives for a long time to come.  If you are thinking of playing games and taking them back just so that you can dump them and learn what it is like, you would do much better to move on and save your energies for your next conquest.  If you are firmly convinced, however, that they would make you the perfect partner, you must do all you can to get them to return to your life?     

When you want them back you need to make yourself present where they are.  You need friends and family to carry a good message to help you and you must look after yourself and look great.  In time the right message will be heard by your ex.   You don’t want to make it look as if you are trying to hunt her down, even if that is in fact what you are trying to do.  

Why not call your ex directly and invite them out for dinner.  This may be all it takes if your ex has been hoping you would call them as they wanted to call you but were lost to know what to say.     

Whichever way you go about it, plan on doing it right first time as you might not get a second bite of the cherry!   You are perfectly able to get back an ex, just as you can decide that it is better to move on.   So make your choice, but be sure to succeed at it.          

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