When I think of all the things I’ve learned from women who’ve dumped me, I realize how they have actually helped me save my current relationship.  You see, all relationships are similar in that the same in that they will fail if certain components do not exist.  Your wealth and your good looks will not save you if they are missing; your relationship is doomed to failure. 

All my previous girlfriends taught me some valuable lessons.  They taught me to tell the truth even when it was difficult for me to do so.  She will trust you when she knows you are always honest and being trusted is one of the foundations of a good relationship. 

I learned that they expect me to tell them how I feel.  That does not mean that I, like most men, am happy to talk all the time about how I am feeling.  It does mean that I have to explain my feelings and not just expect her to guess what they are.  I must also ask her about what she is feeling and listen to her replies. I am not there to solve the problems in her life as she is perfectly capable of doing this herself and my intervention would likely only annoy her.  I must listen to what she says and only make a suggestion if she asks me to. 

I have also realized that when I help with the menial household tasks, I am in a better position to ask for the sexual favors later.  Small things done regularly are far more appreciated than a bigger effort that I make less frequently to help her.  The things I do for her are much more appreciated when I do them than when I say them. 

When she cuddles up close to me in bed, it does not necessarily mean that she is wanting to have sex so I must respect this and not be upset by it.  I have to tell her that I find she is the sexiest thing that existed and not just think it; particularly when I am hoping for a little more than just a cuddle. 

When I look back I realize that all my previous relationships had broken up because I did not follow these cardinal rules.  I always thought that all I did was just perfect but I always got dumped because I had ignored my girlfriend or failed to understand them.   I would probably continued to be unsuccessful in my relationships if I had not bought some books that helped me understand what were the main components of a great relationship.   .

Not only am I happier now, but so is my wife.   The things I’ve learned from women who’ve dumped have helped me to make the best of my relationship and they can help you as well.

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Start out by trying to look at your relationship with a positive angle.  When you are feeling miserable, remember that your misery is communicative.  It won’t be much fun for your wife to have you around when you are like this.  So change the way you are viewing your relationship and start to think of the good times you have had together and how she was so in love with you at the start of the relationship.  Think about what you did do that captivated her then and what you now have to do to repeat this.  Now you know her so much better than when your relationship was in its opening phases, so it should be much easier to repeat this.

Once you able to view life more positively, you will be better able to reflect on the true reasons why she has drifted away from you or even left you.  Have you just fallen into a comfortable way of life and started to take all she did for you for granted?  Did you forget to thank her or show that you appreciated her attentions?  Did you take her for granted and never offer thanks and appreciation for everything she did and tell her how much you still loved her? Did you forget that all women need to feel loved and taken care of?     So get back to the basics and start to tell her that you love her and let her see that you really mean it.  Your wife needs to hear this and feel your sincerity.

Perhaps you have been treating her badly or shown her some lack of respect.  There is a long list of things you could have done that come into this group; being unfaithful to her is perhaps the most important, shouting at her is another, there are many others.  Where as men often ignore these matters, women consider them to be very important.  Women can get very upset about thoughtless remarks their men make unintentionally.  Where you have behaved like this you are going to have to change the way you have been behaving.  So you had better ask yourself very seriously whether you are prepared to make these changes.  If you want to get to get her back loving you again, you are going to have to change your ways. Ask yourself if you are prepared to do this and be honest with yourself about the answer. 

You may be worried about the idea that you may lose your partner particularly if you have been some time together.  The above thoughts may assist you in your objective of getting your wife to love you again and drawing the family closer together again.   When you are asking “can my wife love me again”, always remember that, it’s never too late to turn the page and start all over again with good intentions, as long as you have decided to keep to them.

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Lots of small problems often build up in a long term relationship and in the end seem like a wall that cannot be surmounted.  One partner finally says that’s enough and packs their bags.  What is quite clear is you have to avoid this type of scenario, by never letting your relationship get into this state.  Here are some things you must learn and do. 

Start by reflecting on much of the rubbish that you read and hear about what women are and what they want.  When you hear that they are always wanting and costly to maintain, you are listening to  global judgments which may be true for a minority but certainly not true for most women.   You start seeing your woman as the person she really is and not just a woman, and treat her no differently than the way you like other people to treat you. 

The big mistake that men make is to go to extremes.  They either treat her as a sex tool always at the ready to serve their immediate desires, or they treat them as if they were so fragile that if they don’t preserve them, they will break into lots of little pieces at any moment. And all men really should do is to treat their woman as a human being who has her own mind, needs and wants.  So, you have to get to know your partner as a real woman and not what you want her to be or feel that she should be. 

You make a huge mistake when you put all women together in the same sack.    You men will be mistaken to think that assume that she likes things done in a certain way because some other women do.  You will probably have men friends, but you do not think of treating them all identically.  You certainly don’t; you modify how you treat each of them to adapt to the unique way they are.

Women’s’ lack of satisfaction for one reason or another is what drives them to leave men.  So you men, if you wife or girlfriend plants you, if is plain and simply because you have failed to meet enough of her needs. 

Remember that most women want their husband or boyfriend to be their good friend and confidant, and certainly not someone who reacts in the same way as they themselves do.    They want someone who shows them they are liked.  Many men give the impression that not only do they not like their woman but they cannot trust them as a friend. 

Regardless of what you hear or are told by others, women also have sexual needs.  Society convention teach us that men have a huge sex drive, so they have the automatic right to pick  up a woman and satisfy themselves when they want to.  On the other hand, women have to behave themselves and limit their sex to what they have with their husband.   

The reality is that women have the same sex drive as men, but they know better how to control themselves and not go into action every time the urge takes them.  Women hate to think that a man only wants them for sex.  Often men give their women the impression that all physical contact must end as a sexual encounter.  Yet as well as physical sex, women also greatly cherish physical contact of a non sexual nature.  If you men cannot supply this, your woman will get to the point where she no longer wants you to touch her.   She will leave you and find someone else who can supply all her sexual needs. 

So if you don’t want your wife or girlfriend to leave you, you need to know why women leave men.  Follow the suggestions in this article and treat your woman as someone who you both like and love.  Then your relationship is likely to last for a long time.

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Listen You men!  First of all be yourselves.   You are good enough to find a pretty, sexy woman like any other man without putting on a show.

So hide your complexes and be natural and confident and women will be ettracted to you, regadless of how you see yourself. 

Women see things differently than men; they are often attracted by other qualities than your looks, so if you men feel you look ugly, don’t worry, you have just as much chance as the others.

My second piece of advice is to be attentive to the little things like buying her favourite chocolate for her or giving her a little bunch of flowers from time to time.  Men tend to think in general ways when it is often the little attentions that make for a long relationship. 

My third piece of advice is to let her know that you appreciate her so that she sees you do not take her for granted.

Next on the list is to avoid openly looking at other women when she is with you.  Women  more than men are naturally  seeking to spend a lifetime with a man that they can raise a family with.  They don’t see things as men do; that’s how they are!  They think you are comparing them unfavourably with other women.  So avoid letting your eyes wander when you are together.

Men guard handsome looks as all important in a woman but women are more drawn to a man’s good humour.  So if you hope to keep her a long time, you should be humorous and see that you make her laugh.

You should also look for things that you like doing together.  When you interest yourself in activities that she has had for a long time, she will appreciate you as someone who cares for her.

When you find your true love, don’t think that you should stop taking care of your looks. Women may be less attentive to looks than men but they don’t want to be taken for granted.  So keep yourself groomed when you are casual and follow male fashion trends a little so she sees you are continually making an effort to please her.  Otherwise she may go elsewhere and find someone else who does.

Show her that you can fit into her circle of family and friends.  You are going to be a part of her life, especially after the initial period of falling in love has passed.  You must work on getting along with her girlfriends and impressing her parents.  A woman relies on her social position to validate her choices of friends.  It is up to you therefore to make the effort.

Always consider how she is feeling.  In the physical sense, women are more emotional than men.    Women are less stable than guys.  When you are sensitive to her mood,  you will stay on her good side.

My final piece of advice is to keep your mind open to new interests.  When a relationship starts everything is fresh, but as time advances routine ad boredom can easily set in.  So void this by shaking things up a little from time to time and doing something new or different and so help to keep your relationship alive.

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The first thing you must do is to stop listening to what women say they want and start observing what women actually show you that they want.  This you can see from noting the type of man they pick.

They will say “I want a man who listens to me” but they select a man the man who takes over in a discussion.  They will say, “I want a guy who is amusing company”  but  they go out with the man who has comfortable revenue.

Why do they say one thing and then go out and date the man is the total opposite?  To answer this question you have to look at the subconscious motivation of women when they are looking for a mate and understand their mechanism.

When a woman searches for a man she is thinking unconsciously about founding a future family.  Getting pregnant may be the last ting she is thinking about in her conscious mind, but when she judges a man she seeks a good father for her kids.

She does not choose this good father because he listens to her, but because he will feed the family and provide for the children.   This man must be the type of person who makes her feel confident that he will do just this.

So women look for a good provider.  Men can be sexually active through the nearly all their lives, often into their nineties, but women have only about 400 chances of mothering a baby.    They therefore look for a man who will give the stability for her children over a long period of time.

A man will have a better prospect of getting his women if he can say “I am a business manager” rather than “I am a bookkeeper” because the woman will see the business manager as a better provider for her future family.

High revenue is not all the woman is looking for; she also needs to see her man as someone who will generous with his money when bringing up the family.  For this reason women value highly value presents offered like jewelry.

When you get married you buy your future wife a ring, not just because it is for many reasons the thing to do, but because it displays that you actually are able to provide for her and the children she hopes will follow.  This probably explains why it is so important to most couples that the engagement ring is such an expensive item.

Additionally, whilst most people earn more money using their brains than their brawn, in their sub conscious, women tend to think of strength as being the ability to provide.  Woman thus select someone who likes sport rather than a computer expert, despite the fact that in financial terms the latter will likely have the better capacity to provide for her and the family

So the most important part of relationship advice to men is to work out what women, from an evolutionary view point, really want and give this to your true love.

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-  Criticizes you publicly in front of other people.

-  Says they love you, but their actions don’t confirm this.

-  Is controlling you by reading your mail or checking everything you do.

-  Wants you to be solely dependent on them.

Or you have changed how you behave, to please them.

It is unpleasant to be with toxic people, so why does anybody get into such a relationship?   You don’t want to be with someone who is causing you persistent physical and emotional pain.

These relationships start like others with the period when you are profoundly in love, and are then followed by a bust up and a subsequent getting back together, and the circle starts repeating itself.

During the opening period you are blind to what is happening and suddenly you realize that you are in a toxic relationship which it is difficult for you to escape from.

Many people in toxic relationships have grown up in toxic homes.  They copy how their memories from childhood unintentionally as they likely know no other way to behave.    There are others who find their life in caring for others and others enjoy being miserable.

If you find this has happened to you, remember you have a choice.  Do you want to spend your life where both of you are depressed and have little respect one for the other?

Start to stand up for yourself.  In most of such relationships the toxic partner is telling you that you are responsible for all the problems.  If you have accepted this it complicates your leaving the relationship or trying to negotiate new reference terms in order to repair the situation.

Group therapy may be useful in helping you end or renegotiate an unpleasant relationship.

You can get out of the cycles of toxic relationships and some leave to create other more constructive bonds.  Or you may manage to mend the relationship and keep with it.

Most relationships can be saved if the couple want to renew their relationship in a healthy way.  It may require some space or some counseling.

Take the decision that you will walk away if your situation does not improve.By doing this you will be freed from being dependent on your partner you can start to insist, in a kind but firm way, on what you will need if the relationship is to continue.  And your partner knows that if you don’t get what you want you will leave them.

A healthy relationship requires give and take on both sides; a toxic relationship is a one way street.  It is up to you to alter things if you really want to.    

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The first time this happened to me, I was convinced that all was finished for me.

But in life, remember that all relationships have a natural duration.   Like many others, I was at university when I had my first love.  I was convinced it was for ever but it only went a few weeks.   As we get a little older, the relationships last longer.  Most people will have one main affair in their lives; the others just come and go.  This is why I state that al relationships have a natural duration.

I had just started to work when I decided to live with my girlfriend.  Her apartment lease came up for renewal and we didn’t want to pay two rents.  It was more a decision of economics than anything else, although at the time I did not see it that way.  I was uneasy at her taking everything over in the way that she did.   I was often away from home working and she was unhappy that I was rarely there.  I did not feel I wanted to settle down.  E broke up a few months later when she left me.

Although I did not feel she would ever be my only love, I have no regrets about the times we spent together.  I was happy when I was with her and I still guard affection for her. Love was lost because I did not feel ready to spend the rest of my life with her, now I realize I was too immature to settle down at this time.

I was upset at the time but my traveling kept my mind off the break up.  Yes when she left I was upset and I know she was at how I had acted with her.

I didn’t particularly want her to go as we had started to get into a certain routine that suited me.  As every relationship has a time line, they grow or they die, and I let mine die.  That is how I lost my love.

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Although I have suffered each time, I also learned from it.  Below I’ve listed some of my experiences.

1  A relationships consists of two persons.  Though you may think the break up was the other’s fault, you both played your part in the events that lead up to the affair turning off.  You need to reflect on what has happened and make sure that next time you do not repeat the same errors.

2  Women like to be close to their men but they also need some space.  Men are naturally possessive they like to know where their partner is and what they are doing.  Where they have been cheated this instinct is strengthened.   Trust is essential to every successful relationship.  Your girlfriend senses if you do not trust her.

3  Every time I separated I was emotionally down. At first I never thought that I could recover.  Each time I did, because time heals everyone and everything and each time I improved as a person.

4  When you realize that, from the start, the relationship was doomed, you get over the emotional side more easily.  You should be happy to get out as soon as possible and move on, it is always better for everybody to get out before there is a family and children to consider.

5 You react to events even though you are not their master.    

Off you go again!  Amuse yourself and go out with other women.  With a little luck, the next relationship time will be better than the last, as you apply what you have learned in the past.

So start off again, enjoy yourself and meet other women. If you have learned from the above advice, next time round the relationship will be better and more solid than the previous one.

Make the most of the lessons I’ve learned from women who’ve dumped me.

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So you are back in the relationship.  It would be a good idea to analyze what was the problem you had.    Did you cheat on her or did she think you were?    You have to realize that in a Scorpio woman relationship there is often a lot of natural jealousy.  Whilst you maybe flattered that someone has an intense passion for you, when it is excessive it can cause a loss of trust between you.

Of all the signs of the zodiac, the Scorpio is perhaps the most obsessive.  When she is obsessed by the thought that you are cheating on her, she is going to be very suspicious; it is going to take some time for her to change her mind. 

Where it is she who has done the cheating and has realized her mistake, you should avoid a show of jealousy and should not be over possessive. Show her your displeasure and the harm she has caused you and the relationship but avoid giving impression you no longer trust her.  Otherwise, even if she wants to rest with you, she may soon decide that the relationship cannot be saved. 

Scorpios above all do not like to be proved wrong and you must always keep this in mind in a Scorpio relationship.   If she finds out that you have done something you should not have done to her, she will be more than just hurt. A Scorpio will find it difficult to accept she has made an error in judging you. You will force her to realize her mistake, which she will find very difficult to do.  

When a Scorpio makes an error she will admit if the case is clear.  It is best to let her realize her mistake herself and she will appreciate it if you avoid mentioning it repetitively.

When repairing a break up, take matters gently with a Scorpio.  They are very volatile, so if you slip up again you might risk heading for another break up which will likely be your last. 

You must also learn that boredom in a Scorpio woman relationship is perhaps the worst of all things that can happen.  Scorpios believe that boredom is even worse than finding themselves in a conflict; they thrive on a challenge or discussion, however heated it may get.  

When you have to heal your Scorpio woman relationship, always remember that you will never get anywhere if you are frightened you may make a mistake.

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When you first started going out together you were kind and thoughtful as well as respectful to your partner.  As time has advanced, do you still treat your partner like you did when you first met up?   Unfortunately as time goes on you may start to take matters for granted and are not be as careful as before about how you treat your spouse.  The longer you have been together, it is as if familiarity creeps in and you become a little careless.

In your everyday life you pay attention to how you treat your work colleagues and the other people with whom life bring in contact.  You know that if you don’t you will not get what you are asking them for, or the information will likely be incomplete.   Everybody reacts more positively to someone who is polite than to someone who is inconsiderate with them.

When you are in a bad mood does it show in the way you speak to your spouse?   It probably does.  Yet you would not normally dare to speak to a stranger in that same tone when you are asking for something because you know he will likely send you packing.   If you speak to your spouse in a disparaging manner, you are taking advantage of the familiarity that has crept into your relationship.

When you are speaking to other people who are close to you, be they your parents, your children or your friends, think what would happen if the discussion was recorded and played back to you later.  You might not be very proud of how you behaved.  Yet if that person was a stranger you would have been more careful about what you said and how you said it, because you would not want to upset them. 

All of us get annoyed from time to time and thereafter regret what we said or how we said it.   In our relationships it is important to limit these moments; we can do so by always reflecting on how we would have behaved if the person was a stranger so as not to offend them.

Thoughtfulness is another important part of maintaining a good spouse relationship.  No doubt you love your wife but, as the time passes in your relationship, are you still as thoughtful with your spouse as you were when you first met.   If there is one person towards whom you need to show some thoughtfulness, it is your spouse. 

When you first met you were always attentive with the small gifts of attention and surprises.   As time has gone on they have become less frequent, perhaps few and far between.  Don’t forget that good relationships need to be cultivated.  Getting away from the every day rut, introducing some surprises and just generally being thoughtful, is essential to a good spouse relationship. 

You should never be complacent, as marriages are not necessarily permanent and there are always many other opportunities for your partner if you don’t fulfill their aspirations.  .  So, get back to doing some of what you did when you were courting them and have let slip with the passage of time. Try to be as kind and thoughtful as possible.  Add to this love and respect and you have all the ingredients of a lasting spouse relationship. 

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