If your family and friends liked your ex they will constantly want to know what is happening.  Tell them that the break up is definitive and that you prefer not to be reminded of your ex. or even discuss the subject.

Often the family want to get you together again with your ex.  Tell them that all is over and you are moving on. They will accept this eventually out of love for you.  With your friends it could be more difficult. 

Count yourself lucky if you had no mutual friends.  However, if you often went out with mutual friends, the fact that you are alone will seem strange to everyone for a time.  Perhaps your ex wants to go out with these friends as well and so you will risk meeting each other again.   You don’t need to split up with your friends but it will be difficult to stay friendly with everyone, once the relationship is broken up.

Stay friendly with your closet friends and leave your ex to do likewise.  You do not need to push mutual friends into making a choice between the two of you.

This period of breaking up can be very difficult when there are many friends around and a lot of things to do together.   It is good to get away from the same routine and go on holiday, preferably with someone outside the circle of your ex and your common friends.  This will enable you clear your thoughts and help you considerably once you have decide that this time you have really decided to move on 

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Start by releasing the suffering you have.  It is perfectly normal to cry when you are starting It may also help you if you to write down how you suffering progresses.

Another way of helping you is to prepare a letter for your ex, reminiscing about the good times and the less good, your relationship and how much he made you suffer.  Make sure you forget nothing so all is brought out in one go. Never send the letter but ceremoniously burn it; an excellent way to finish the relationship.

Accept that all is over.  You will never get over a guy and move on if you still kindle the hope that one day he will change and come running back to you. 

Try to find something to do that truly symbolizes the end of the relationship.  One suggestion is to exchange all personal property that each one had of the other.  Throw away the things too small to exchange and so clear your home of his possessions; it is a way of getting him out of your mind.

Get some help from your girlfriends.  Before you meet your husband, boyfriends come and boyfriends go but the girlfriends are always there.   You may have dropped your friends for a while, so now is the time to get back to them.  They will be good for getting you out socially and they will help you to get over a guy. 

No doubt your girlfriends are likely to have been through similar situations to yours. By sharing their experiences you will see that others have made it and you realise that so will you.

The time that you used to spend with your ex should be spent intelligently.    Get some exercise to get you back on the best form, join a group and take up a new hobby and so at the same time make new friends.

Finally, you must move on if you are going to forget your ex.  You will come out of it all as a new person with the old and new friends and your new activities.  Moving on in is clearly the best way to get over a guy; make a clean break and get on with your life.

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You have to start by closing down the old relationship before you can prepare yourself to move on.  So convince yourself that the relationship is over so that the healing can commence.    So get on with the physical aspect of closing the relationship, by returning clothes and settling any debts between you and your ex. 

Now you are ready to take some space, so stop all contact with your ex for the time being to give yourself a chance to get over everything.  You may wish to stay friends but that can be organized later.

You are probably going to have to change where you go in the short term so that you avoid running into your girlfriend.   All seeing her will do for you, particularly if she is with another boyfriend, is start you feeling “I miss my girlfriend” once again.  Just avoid giving her the chance to get back at you. 

Changing where you go will bring you to new places where you will meet new friends.  You will find new girlfriends to date.  It is only now that you will be able to get over your old relationship when you think about the new people you are meeting, and less of the past.

At first getting back to dating can be hard, but the sooner you start again the quicker you are going to heal. 

To help you find more new friends, you can take on new activities, which as well as being interesting, will bring you into contact with other girlfriends.  If you fancy a woman date her: dating is a social experience and not a life time commitment. 

As soon as you start to realize that you are saying “I miss my ex girlfriend” much less often, you will realize that you are successfully moving on to the future that your life holds for you. 

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Marie spoke to her friends about what had happened.  They sympathized with her to start with but it was soon pretty evident that they were more interested in their own affairs.  Marie was somewhat disappointed by their lack of support.

Her mother was quite the opposite.  All she would talk about was Jim this and Jim that.   She let Marie know all the time how she had let the perfect man walk out of her life.  You could easily have thought that her mother was more in love with Jim than Marie had ever been

Marie could not put up with the perpetual pressure and decided to seek some counseling to help her get through a difficult period.   This helped her identify the problems she had had with Jim and sort out where she was to go from there in moving on. 

She started by clearing out all Jim’s possessions.  She returned his clothes and threw away all the small items he had left.  She decided to keep the jewelry Jim had given her.  She put it all away for a time, to bring out later when she had got over the break up.  

There were lots of things that Marie had enjoyed doing and which she had stopped doing after meeting Jim.  Now was the perfect time to get back to doing some of them.   She had previously sung in a choir and loved listening to opera.  When a visiting opera company was in town, she decided this was just the moment to ask a couple of girlfriends to join her to hear Carmen.  If Jim had still been there she would never have done this. 

She decided to enroll in a gym class so that she could keep her form and figure.  She made new friends and started to enjoy herself again.    She also decided to look for new activities.  One of her new friends invited her to learn about wine and she joined him with pleasure. 

Previously she had never studied the different tastes but after a few sessions she started to get really interested.  She also met Philip who she found very handsome.  Phillip was an accountant who enjoyed good eating and fine wines and clearly liked Marie.   Marie found him great fun. 

Marie began to realize that she was at last getting over Jim, as she started to appreciate the presence of Philip.   She does not know yet if Philip is going to be the man of her life or if it is a rebound situation.  What Marie does know is that when Philip is present she no longer thinks about Jim and her past.    You will find it difficult to get better break up advice than this when you are moving on.

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