-  Criticizes you publicly in front of other people.

-  Says they love you, but their actions don’t confirm this.

-  Is controlling you by reading your mail or checking everything you do.

-  Wants you to be solely dependent on them.

Or you have changed how you behave, to please them.

It is unpleasant to be with toxic people, so why does anybody get into such a relationship?   You don’t want to be with someone who is causing you persistent physical and emotional pain.

These relationships start like others with the period when you are profoundly in love, and are then followed by a bust up and a subsequent getting back together, and the circle starts repeating itself.

During the opening period you are blind to what is happening and suddenly you realize that you are in a toxic relationship which it is difficult for you to escape from.

Many people in toxic relationships have grown up in toxic homes.  They copy how their memories from childhood unintentionally as they likely know no other way to behave.    There are others who find their life in caring for others and others enjoy being miserable.

If you find this has happened to you, remember you have a choice.  Do you want to spend your life where both of you are depressed and have little respect one for the other?

Start to stand up for yourself.  In most of such relationships the toxic partner is telling you that you are responsible for all the problems.  If you have accepted this it complicates your leaving the relationship or trying to negotiate new reference terms in order to repair the situation.

Group therapy may be useful in helping you end or renegotiate an unpleasant relationship.

You can get out of the cycles of toxic relationships and some leave to create other more constructive bonds.  Or you may manage to mend the relationship and keep with it.

Most relationships can be saved if the couple want to renew their relationship in a healthy way.  It may require some space or some counseling.

Take the decision that you will walk away if your situation does not improve.By doing this you will be freed from being dependent on your partner you can start to insist, in a kind but firm way, on what you will need if the relationship is to continue.  And your partner knows that if you don’t get what you want you will leave them.

A healthy relationship requires give and take on both sides; a toxic relationship is a one way street.  It is up to you to alter things if you really want to.    

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When one day something happens and you suddenly realize that this is not what you merit for the rest of your life.  Not everything is wrong but there is enough there of the bad to make you realize that you should really move on.  But how can you get out of it?

These are “Three strategies that will help you move on after coming out of a toxic relationship” that will help you have a clean conscience while you work on your decision to leave.

1  Remember the times you enjoyed yourself and the reasons why you decided you wanted out.  Write down a list of all the good and the bad things concerning your relationship and keep it at hand.  Then every time you think of speaking to you ex or trying to get together again, you can see the reasons that made you decide to end everything.   There would certainly have been moments of pleasure or you would have got out sooner, but in the end you must consider what is right for you.

2  Get out and meet new people and see the family and friends who you stopped meeting because your ex did not like them, and perhaps get some counseling if you think it could help you.   Those who appreciate you will likely help you as they no doubt did not appreciate how your ex behaved towards you..  Make the most of this time to see new things and follow activities you liked and have not been able to pursue when you were with    your ex.

3  Start doing some serious thinking about yourself and above all don’t rush immediately off into a new affair; take your time.  You must understand how you were drawn into your previous relationship with its unhealthy characteristics to avoid falling into a similar situation again.  When you feel ready start dating other people but take your time.

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